The Dolphin Report

By Ron Poltorack

Post archive for ‘2011’

0-6 WON”T SELL MANY TIX

Well, the imperfect season remains intact as the Fins suffered the embarrassment of losing to the Denver Broncos 18-15 in the Inept Bowl.  Even with thousands of Gator fans in the stands to cheer on Tim Tebow, there were a whole lot of empty seats.  And the Fins’ performance against what had been the 1-5 [...]

LAST WEEK A BYE, THIS WEEK A BYE-BYE?

At 0-5 and going nowhere after last week’s bye, the question that remains is will Stephen Ross say bye-bye to Head Coach Tony SparaNO and/or GM Jeff D’Ireland this week.  As Dolfans grow more and more frustrated with their team, the question of their leaders’ future becomes more and more pressing.  Time will tell, but [...]

AT 0-4, THE FINS CAN ONLY HOPE FOR LUCK

EDITOR’s NOTE:  Today’s installment is written with a saddened heart . . . . in memory of Aunt Jean, a truly wonderful woman who has meant so much to this writer, his family and many others.  She will be sorely missed by all whose lives she touched.] * * * * * * * * [...]

IT’S DIRE IN D’IRELAND

With an 0-3 start to this 2011 season things are certainly dire for Head Coach Tony SparaNO and his team.  This season may still be young, but losing is getting old all too quickly.   The Fins can’t seem to buy a win.  At this rate they won’t be able to buy any fans soon either.  [...]

CELLAR DWELLERS

On the heels of a 1-7 home record last season, the Fins are now 0-2 this season, with both losses coming at home.  As a result, they have a firm grip on last place in the AFC East.  This once proud franchise has now been relegated to cellar dwellers. The loss to the Texans—the sixth [...]

PATRIOT MISSILES TORCH FINS

The football pundits certainly predicted the outcome of this one, but they never could have predicted just how this game would unfold.  True, Tom Brady has manhandled the Fins the last few years.  But given the widely held belief going into this season that the Fins have a lot of talent on the defensive side [...]

REMEMBER THE MANTRA

Now that the preseason has mercifully come to an end, it is time to remember the only mantra that truly matters about the preseason: preseason football is meaningless. Dolfans who forget this fundamental truth are destined to suffer a season of discontent–for once the bell rings they will know only disappointment. At most, starters play [...]

A CONSPIRACY THEORY TO TREASURE

We all know there are enough conspiracy theories out there to keep even the most paranoid person happy.  But haven’t we had more than enough of the grassy knoll, Beatles’ songs played backwards, the aliens at Roswell and Obama’s birth in Kenya.  That’s why it is nice to report on a conspiracy theory that one [...]

THE LOCK OUT

With the lockout of the NFL players by management, pro football fans are becoming increasingly angry.  Some of the fans are angry at the greedy billionaire owners; others are angry at the greedy millionaire players.  The most knowledgeable fans are angry at both the greedy owners and the greedy players.  And there is certainly enough [...]

GROUNDHOG DAY

These days being a Dolfan just isn’t easy.  And watching JT and the Jets play for the AFC Championship doesn’t make it any easier.  The feel is certainly no better than after the 4-12 season and the sudden departure of the Fictator.  The feel isn’t any better than after the 1-15 season and the immediate [...]

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