The Dolphin Report

By Ron Poltorack

Post archive for ‘2007’

COACHLESS IN DAVIE

It was only last Sunday that I predicted that “this coming week the Dolphins’ sack leader will definitely be Parcells!” The very next day Parcells sacked Mueller and two key members of the scouting department. Three days thereafter he sacked Cameron and most of the assistants, too. Although the prediction was right on, it really [...]

DEFYING THE LAWS OF PARITY

The NFL, which has been called the No Fun League, was designed for parity so that lower echelon teams will not remain so for long periods of time. The Miami Dolphins, fresh off another losing season in which only a gift overtime victory over the Baltimore Ravens kept them from having an imperfect season, have [...]

WITH THE FIRST PICK IN THE 2008 NFL DRAFT THE MIAMI DOLPHINS SELECT . . .

It’s official, with their 1-14 record the Miami Dolphins have wrapped up the first overall selection in the 2008 NFL Draft. No matter what happens in the last week of the season, they are officially the worst team in the NFL. How’s that for good news! Sunday’s game in Foxboro was pathetic. The Pats jumped [...]

SAVING FACE AND LOSING TIME

With a 22-16 overtime win against the Baltimore Ravens, whose own losing streak hit 8, the Miami Dolphins have ended their imperfect season. The win came on a third and 8 pass by Cleo Lemon to Greg Camarillo that resulted in a 64-yard touchdown and set off a big celebration on and off the field [...]

TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA AND COUNTING

How ironic, the team that proudly fielded Number 13, Hall of Famer Dan Marino, who struck fear in the minds of opposing defenses, itself suffered from triskaidekaphobia ever since it sustained its twelfth loss of the season last Sunday. All week long the Fins and their faithful feared that they might reach unlucky 13. After [...]

THE DIRTY DOZEN

Following this season’s first few games, Dolfans were disappointed, but no one thought it could get to this, no one thought it would get to the dirty dozen. With a home loss to the J-E-T-S, the Fins have officially reached 0-12. After Sunday, 0-16 has never looked so realistic. It could well come down to [...]

AT LEAST THERE WASN’T A SNOW PLOW

Thanks to a deluge, the conditions at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh were so bad that both teams had trouble scoring in this the Dolphins’ only Monday Night game of the season. The Steelers got the only points of the game with 17 seconds left on the clock thanks to a 24 yard field goal by [...]

STILL WINLESS AFTER ALL THESE GAMES

Imagine this: Before the game you learn that the Fins will win the turnover war 3-0, Donovan McNabb will get knocked out of the game, A.J. Feeley will finish out the game, Ted Ginn will score a touchdown on a punt return, and John Beck will not get sacked or turn over the ball. You’d [...]

CAMERON’S FATE ‘BECK’ONS?

The Dolphins drove the ball for a field goal on the game’s opening drive against the Bills and that score held up for 3 quarters. Unfortunately, there are 4 quarters in the game of football. Someone should have clued in the defense (that had played well up until the fourth quarter). Let’s get the positives [...]

DOLPHINS NOW 0-2 (CONTINENTS, THAT IS)

Sunday in London the Dolphins reached the halfway point in their season of futility, proving that they are now the worst team on two continents. Even a career-worst passing performance by the “other” Manning (36.4%, 59 yards, no TDs) was enough to beat the lowly Fins 13-10. The previously prevailing attitude that they will eventually [...]

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